this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
