party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
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