i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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