dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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