David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
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