girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
Randomize
