babies were throwing up all over the place
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize
