fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize
