I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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