i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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