I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
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