she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
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