Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
Randomize
