I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
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