what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Randomize
