and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
