no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
