will power is for people who don't want to get laid
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
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