So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
