bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
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