i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
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