my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
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