mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
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