so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
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you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
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FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
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