are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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