so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
Randomize
