the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
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