the new term for farting is butt boxing.
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
