Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
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