K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
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