She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
Randomize
