So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
I yelled at your uterus for you.
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