I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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