My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
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