I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
He is such a slut. More and more my type.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize