So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
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