does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
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