i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
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