i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
