I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
