What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
Randomize
