Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
Randomize