ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize
