Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
My life is pants optional.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Randomize
