Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
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