I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
Randomize
