dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
Randomize
