Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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