i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Randomize
