and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
