i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
Randomize
