everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
I'm at about main and main street
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
This is my gift to your gina
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
