I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
She's the barista slut.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Randomize
