I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
Randomize
