Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
Randomize
