the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
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I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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