i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Randomize